Cole John Mickelson was born January 20, 1987, in Missoula, Montana, to his parents Mary Jo Ridgeway and Jim Mickelson. He was residing in Missoula at the time of his death.
After a long battle with schizophrenia, Cole chose to end his life while at his mother and step-father´s home over spring break. Cole was attending the University of Montana majoring in literature after having graduated with high honors from Miles Community College. He graduated from Sentinel High School in Missoula.
After being diagnosed with schizophrenia, Cole fought very hard to keep the voices at bay and keep his mind his own. Being a person suffering from mental illness, he battled loneliness and isolation. Although he knew we were always there to help, love and support him, the war going on with the demons pursuing and torturing him every day of his life became overwhelming. We understand, Coley. Please know we love you.
Cole had a beautiful mind, was the smartest person we ever knew and was so gentle with others. He loved to think about and discuss issues involving the environment, politics, history, religion and philosophy. He loved music, reading, the outdoors, fishing, hunting, and video games. And he loved his family very much as we did him.
Cole was predeceased by his beloved grandparents John and Emma Ridgeway and his aunt Susan Ridgeway. Cole is survived by his mother and step father, Mary Jo Ridgeway and Gary Day; his father and step-mother, Jim Mickelson and Mindy Carver, his brothers and sisters Adam and Jenn Mickelson, Justin Day and Catharine Houstoun; his grandparents Kay and Larry Mickelson and Dennis and Alice Carver, and Alva Day; and numerous aunts, uncles and cousins.
Please rest in peace, dear son. You will always be in our hearts and minds. Rather than a memorial, we urge all who read this to keep their hearts and minds open to those with mental illness and to be good and gentle and gracious with others. Cole would want it that way.
Family will receive friends on Tuesday, April 10, 2012 from 5:00-7:00 p.m. at Stevenson & Sons Funeral Home in Miles City. Interment will be held in The Stanford Cemetery in Stanford, Montana. Stevenson & Sons Funeral Home of Miles City is in charge of the arrangements. Condolences may be sent to the family by visiting: www.stevensonandsons.com.
John and Candy Laney says
You are in our thoughts and prayers. Please let us know if you need anything at all.
Aliceann Carlton says
My heart breaks for all of you. Please accept my deepest condolences and prayers for moments of peace.
Beverly Harris says
Mary Jo, my heart aches for your pain. Just know that you are not alone and we do understand that mental illness is very real and painful.
Vickie Schneidt says
Cole, I used to say I got lost in your eyes…you were so special! I can’t believe you are not here anymore but an angel looking down. My heart goes out to your family and it always went out to you, my friend, for your hard fought battle. Rest in peace, Cole; you will not be forgotten.
Merry and Armando DeAnda says
Your family is in our thoughts and prayers. Please accept my deepest condolences and prayers for you in your time of need
John Jackson says
Gary and Mary Jo, you have my deepest sympathies. I am so very sorry for your loss. May God hold you in the palm of his hand.
Julie Axelberg says
So very sorry for your tragic loss. Your son sounds as though he was a joy to all who knew him. May God give you strength.
Kari Winkleky says
Cole I will always miss you! I can’t believe you are gone after the many hours we spent at work together talking about things. You will always have a special place in my heart. I’m sorry I lost touch with you. Condolences to your family at a time like this!
Deb Willis says
I am sending heartfelt prayers and thoughts to you. I know there is nothing I can say to take the pain away. I will be thinking of you and your son. I also lost a son 6 years ago, although the pain has weakened, it is still there. A piece of my heart is gone forever.
Jenny Heuck says
Gary, I’m so very sorry to hear about this terrible loss. I currently work in the mental health field and appreciate the honesty and candor expressed in Cole’s obituary. He sounds like a wonderful young man. Please extend my sympathy to JO.
Pat Connolly-Dupuis says
To the family of Cole Mickelson:
I offer you my sincere condolences in the death of Cole.
My son died of suicide at the age of 25 years.
I am so sorry that our children had mental illness.
I will keep you in my prayers.
Pat Dupuis, Mother of Francois
10/25/74-9/9/200
Sherbrooke, Quebec Canada
Ed and Janet Young says
So sorry to learn about the loss of your son, Cole. You and your family are in our thoughts.
Dick Culver says
So, so sorry for this young man an his family, My condolences and God be with you thru this.
D'Ona Hardy Pierce says
I am so sorry for your loss! I lost my brother to that very same battle. I know it isn’t easy but you have to remember that they are in a better place.
Irene Nelson says
I did not know your son personally, but was touched by his memorial article. Living with mental illness is a difficult journey for individuals and families. Your openness will hopefully help other families dealing with the same illness. May the love of God, family and friends support you during this difficult time.
Clara Jo says
My thoughts and prayers are with your family at this time.
Dan Sieckman and Beth Ikeda says
We will miss Cole’s many talents, his creative soul, and his generous patience with others. We send his family wishes for peace, and wish that all who knew Cole remember his happy times.
Carol Rath Raschkow says
What a beautifully written obituary. Instead of hiding the reason of death, you are encouraging and supportive to all parents and family dealing with loved ones with mental illness and getting the word out there so that others may recognize the private hell that people with mental illness go through every day. You are in my thoughts and prayers as you suffer the loss of your son, brother, friend. God Bless you all.
Paul Taylor says
I sincerely send everyone my love and thoughts. Cole will always be a treasured friend and I will cherish all the times we shared. Thanks for all of the great times bud; may his soul rest at ease.
Billie Goggin says
Sending you heartfelt prayers and condolences. Thank you for your candor and honesty in talking about your son. May God bless and comfort you!
Matthew Lubaroff says
My thoughts are with all of you right now as you journey through this difficult time. Please accept my condolences.
Steve, Stefan & Tina Malkuch says
You are in our thoughts and prayers.
Tab fleming says
Dear Mary Jo, Gary, and Jim:
Please accept our sincere condolences for the loss of Cole. It reminds all of us how quick life changes when a life is taken away. I pray regularly that our own children remain healthy and can live a full life, to experiences all that life has to offer. Carmen talked about Cole regularly as they became re-aquainted at MCC. He seemed like a very nice young man with a bright future. We are sure he will be missed by many. We pray that the Lord will comfort you in your loss. We will keep you and your family in our prayers.
Tab and Santos Fleming
Desiree Call says
he will be remembered as the nice sweet person that he was to all! Always in my thoughts and prayers
Tami Staiger says
Our thoughts and prayers are with you and your family, Jo.
Terry and Alyssa MacDonald says
Jo(Gary) & Jim (Mindy),
Your beautiful grace shines through even as you begin to navigate this time of grief. We wish we had words to comfort you, but words fail us. Know that we are holding you close in our thoughts. Jo, we can hear your smile and feel your love & pride when you say, “Coley”; and Jim we have such fond memories of young Cole mimicking you, his hero.
With love and sorrow in our hearts, we wish you peace.
Terry & Alyssa MacDonald
Mary Dobranetski says
Rest in Peace dear Cole.
Sam Painter says
Jim, I’m sorry for the loss of your son, there are really no words other than I am sorry and will be thinking of you all.
Halcyon Bjornstad says
In my mind Cole remains as a smiling school aged friend with the best hugs. I am so lucky to have known him. Everyone who had the chance to interact with Cole was indeed blessed. My prayers are with you through this grief process. This is indeed a great loss
Joe Herbold says
Mary Jo and family,
With prayers my heart goes out to you.
Sue Wilke says
My thoughts and prayers are with all of you.As we battle with this diease, let us all remember empathy for those who struggle with it and their caregivers.May Cole finally have Peace.
Daniel and Anna Bidegaray says
Jo, Gary, Jim and Mindy;
We were so sorry to hear about your loss. You are all in our thoughts and prayers.
Wayne and Carola Moline says
Jo and family, I am so glad I got to meet Cole when he was home on Christmas Vacation, yes mental illness is so much harder to deal with then physical illness and many beautiful people bravely do all they can and yet many times it wears them down to the point where they must have peace, our thoughts and hearts go out to all of you at this time and we will keep in touch. the Molines(Rissa Seabolts parents)
Shaun McNay says
Dear friends,
You don’t know me, but I just read of your loss with Cole’s passing. I grew up in Missoula but now live in Washington State. I often read the Missoulian to stay in touch with my roots.
I am so sad for your loss. The Tribute you wrote for Cole’s life was beautiful. Your loving and non-judgement of Cole is inspiring.
I know you will never forget Cole, but I hope you can find comfort and peace in the days ahead.
Your friend,
Shaun McNay
Misty Steadman says
Jo and Gary, my heart aches for you both, I am so sorry…So many people really admire and respect the two of you, I pray you feel the love as you go through this Journey.
“Death leaves a heartache no one can heal, Love leaves a memory no one can steal. -from a headstone in Ireland
Dick & Mooney Samson says
Jo, Gary, Jim & Mindy,
Our hearts are full of sorrow and can’t imagine the grief you hold in your hearts at Cole’s sudden passing. “Coley” was a beautiful person and I wished so much for him and his future, especially as a UM student. We will always remember the carefree days when he and Maddie were constantly in motion as young children at our get- togethers. We see him feeling that happiness now.
Know you are in our prayers and we are here to help if you need us in any way.
Lisa Kaufman says
Jo and Family,
I am so terribly sorry to hear of this. What a beautiful young man he was! I had no idea of his struggles, but it was clear he was dearly loved. I wish you gentle healing and hope that you will all be ok.
Love,
Lisa Kaufman
(State Farm)
Erin Marcus says
To the family of Cole Mickelson-
I am so sorry for your loss. Cole was one of smartest people I know. So kind and soft hearted. He will be greatly missed, but never forgotten. His obituary was so beautifully written, and with such honesty. Please accept my deepest condolences during this time of grief.
sincerely,
An old friend
Barb Christian says
Jo, Jim and families,
I wish we could be there for the service today as we would like that very much. Please know our thoughts and prayers go out to all of you, and feel your heartfelt loss also. May your fondest memories be always close in your hearts and minds as you go on without him; knowing he is finally at peace. May God’s love comfort you always.
With love, Barb
Julie Long says
My son, Adam Long, went to high school with Cole in Missoula and has fond memories of his friendship with Cole. We are so saddened to hear of his sudden death. Please know you are in our thoughts and prayers.
Julie Long
Lay Pastor, Our Savior’s Lutheran Church-Broadus
Lisa says
Dear Cole’s Family,
I am so sorry for the loss of your child & sibling. I hope Cole has found peace from this horrible illness. Thank you for sharing his battle. You graciously brought awareness to the public that wonderful, lovely, amazing people suffer from mental illness. My prayers to the family, and all who have been part of Cole’s life that you will find comfort in each other, and in the beautiful memories made in sweeter days.
Michele Braukmann says
Judge Day and Family: My thoughts and prayers go out to you. With no hesitation, I will keep in my mind the beautiful closing words you wrote in your son’s “In Memoriam.” Michele Braukmann (Moulton Bellingham, PC) (Billings, MT)
Kathleen Baber says
Dear loved ones of Cole…
I did not know Cole or his family but I held you all up in prayer today as I read the story of his life. I am touched by the understanding and unconditional love you all expressed for Cole. It is hard to imagine the challenges he faced as a child and during the discovery process of his illness. It must have had a profound impact on your entire family. Your honesty will make a difference in my life to exercise empathy to those with mental illness. It is so true that we should treat all those we meet as if they had a broken heart, as they probably do.
My deepest condolences in the loss of this remarkable young man. Lucky he was for sure, to be blessed with such a nurturing family. Gods blessings to you all you navigate your grief.
Kathleen Baber
Missoula MT
Kealy Beskoon says
Cole was a magnificent, passionate and intelligent man; while we can only wish to ease the pain of this loss, we should embrace the times we were lucky enough to spend with Cole. I know that I’m a better person for having known him and am proud to say it. My thoughts and prayers are with you. May Cole rest in peace.
Jennifer Preble says
Please rest in peace Cole and your family.
Maylinn Smith says
My heart goes out to you. Sometimes the lives that touch most dearly are with us for far too short a time. The bitter-sweetness of memories can never replace the precious soul that brighten the hallways of the law school and brought joy to so many people. Cole is still with you when you fish those calm, still waters and hunt on those cold crisp mornings. You are in my thoughts
Anna says
I only knew Cole for a short time but he was always so kind to me. Very welcoming and always had a smile on his face. My heart goes out to your family and to Cole. May he rest in God’s arms now.
Carla Hecker says
Jo and Gary,
I am so sorry about Cole. It is hard to think of the right words to say. I still remember Cole as a young boy who was trying to teach his furby to talk and waiting for a ride home after missing the school bus. The obituary was beautifully written and your love and understanding shine through with each word. May time grant you all peace of mind and heart.
The Barkleys says
Jo (Gary) and Jim (Mindy),
We are saddened about Cole and want you all to know you are in our prayers. I will always remember him as a soft spoken 6 year old with a sparkle in his eye. Love Tom, Bec, Dylan and Drue
Gladys Stanton says
Gary & family,
Our sincerest condolences on the loss of Cole. You are in our thoughts and prayers. May peace be with you.
Sincerely,
Gladys Stanton & Cindy Stanton & family
Vicki S. says
I don’t personally know you, but I wanted to tell you your son’s obituary brought tears to my eyes. What a beautiful tribute to him. My heart goes out to you. God Bless.
Jolie Fish says
My heart goes out to you to you. I lost my son to suicide in 1991 and not a day goes by I do not think of him.
IN ONE SENSE THERE IS NO DEATH.
THE LIFE OF A SOUL ON EARTH LASTS BEYOND HIS DEPARTURE.
YOU WILL ALWAYS FEEL THAT LIFE TOUCHING YOURS,
THAT VOICE SPEAKING TO YOU ,
THAT SPIRIT LOOKING OUT OF OTHER EYES, TALKING TO YOU IN THE FAMILIAR THINGS HE TOUCHED, WORKED WITH, LOVED AS FAMILIAR FRIENDS.
HE LIVES ON IN YOUR LIFE AND IN THE LIVES OF ALL OTHERS THAT KNEW HIM.
-Angelo Patri´
From Jolie Fish, friend of Jodie Johnson
S. Christiaens says
Dear family and friends,
Even though I have never met you or Cole, I wish to express my sympathy for your loss.
Five years ago, my family lost a brother-in-law suffering from depression and chose to take his life. Your honesty is heartwarming to read in his obituary as many do not share this information with others. Please find comfort that he is at peace and whole. He will be waiting for you at heaven’s gate. May God embrace all of you in the days ahead. Prayers have been said for you.
Cyndi (Conley) Burke says
Jo and Gary, our thoughts and prayers are with you. Please know that others have known the pain of losing a loved one to suicide, and that God’s love has no boundaries. In Christ’s Love we are all one. ~Cyndi & Bill
Jeana Brock says
What a beautiful boy. I am so very sorry for your loss. I have lost my father to suicide and mental illness and it is not something that people readily accept or understand. Take comfort in his love and your memories.
Cindy Berg says
So sorry for the loss of your son. Our hearts go out to all of you.
Cindy and Dale Berg
Mark Schlepp says
Mary Jo and Gary,
With sadness, we want to express our condolenses and sorrow in the loss of your son Cole. Your family has been through a lot the past few years, but this is harder. The loss of a child is more difficult. It seems Cole had many difficult years, but now he will rest in a better place. May you and your family have peace. God bless.
Mark and Jackie Schlepp-Choteau Montana
Mike Pickard says
Dearest Jo and Jim: I heard only today about your loss. My tears blend into your own and I cannot otherwise express my sympathies. As one who’s struggled and made at least one serious and nearly successful attempt at seeking peace, I relate in ways unlike most. You seem to know he meant no pain for you. Some, who have never shared the experience will consider his death inconsiderate but nothing is farther from the truth. Your elegy highlights his qualities and caring nature and those are what remain most important. I love you guys and wish I could somehow ease your loss. ps. (I mean no neglect of your partners or their share in your loss but know you two as my friends and Cole’s parents.) Love, Mike
Cathy & Jeff Shannon says
My heart goes out to Jim, Mindy & family.
You will be in our prayers.
Sincerely,
Cathy & Jeff Shannon
Carrollton, TX
Robert Wanberg says
Cole is now clothed in immeasurable love and immeasurable peace. His fragile body has passed and his strong spirit lives on. He now watches over all of you who loved him so dearly. God Bless you
Kirby Christian says
Jim and Jo, words cannot express the sorrow I feel for the two of you and for the loss of Cole. Please let me know if need anything or if I can help in anyway. You are in my thoughts and prayers. Kirby
Karen Lundgren says
What a beautiful tribute you have written here. He was so very loved.
My thoughts are with you.
Karen Lundgren
Donna Mendelson says
To Cole´s family:
We were affected this semester by Cole´s humor and insight in the literature course we shared with him. We are glad for the days when he was with us in class, and now we know how strong he was.
Thank you very much for your openness and honesty in Cole´s obituary. We´re grateful to you for telling us his story. It helps us to know the challenges he faced and why he isn´t with us now. Cole´s presence touched us. His story and memory will continue to affect us long past our being together in this course. Thank you for the comfort you gave us even as you are grieving. We hope this poem will bring comfort to you; we feel it embodies the same openness and honesty that you expressed in his obituary.
Wild Geese
By Mary Oliver
You do not have to be good.
You do not have to walk on your knees
for a hundred miles through the desert, repenting.
You only have to let the soft animal of your body
love what it loves.
Tell me about your despair, yours, and I will tell you mine.
Meanwhile the world goes on.
Meanwhile the sun and the clear pebbles of the rain
are moving across the landscapes,
over the prairies and the deep trees,
the mountains and the rivers.
Meanwhile the wild geese, high in the clean blue air,
are heading home again.
Whoever you are, no matter how lonely,
the world offers itself to your imagination,
calls to you like the wild geese, harsh and exciting-
over and over announcing your place
in the family of things.
Amy Anderson, Ashley Anderson, Morganne Armstrong, Casey Charles, Beryl Clark, Heidi Cowan, Julia Evans, Bill Gazdag, Tori Grenz, Brandy Hilde, Katharine Howard, Brooks Johnson, John Lovell, Alex MacKay, Erin Meagher, Laura Milan, Torie Powell, Ilene Propp, Katie Reilly, Jacob Reynoso, and Annie Warren
JR says
mary jo, you raised a fine young man. he will be missed . I love you cuz
Heidi, Steve, Dylan and Leigh says
Dear Jim, Jo and family,
We are deeply saddened to hear of Coley’s passing. We have such fun memories of Cole and Dylan playing together in their younger years. We got out our photo albums and remembered the wonderful years we had with all of you. He will always be in our families history because you and Cole took care of Dylan while I was delivering Leigh. We will always remember a smart, kind and beautiful blue eyed person he was. Our hearts go out to you and your families and know that we loved him and are praying for your comfort at this time.